Wednesday 7 March 2012

in the day ... 7th march 1933 - the best pub quiz question of all time

I was at a pub quiz a while ago and the chap at the front - the one with the mic and the power - asked the best pub quiz question of all time. 

I think it was the way he started it that got everyone. 

He said, ‘Has anyone played Monopoly?’. The room was full of 20-somethings, 30-somethings, 40-somethings and 50-somethings. You could see everyone in the room sitting back in their chairs, stretching, relaxing, chilling. You could hear the click click clang as people put their pens down and picked their pints up. 


That’s poetic licence. We don’t have 'pints' down here in Oz. We have schooners, middys and, the curse of all beer drinkers worth the name - the very devil itself - the dreaded 'schmiddy'. 

For the benefit of readers outside of Australia a middy is small. Think thimble-sized. In terms of beer, it's hardly worth bothering with. It's gone in a gulp. Less. If you're in a pub and you order a middy, the entire place will fall silent and everyone will turn to look at you. If there’s a TV on the wall, it will automatically mute just as you order your middy. Everyone will then hear the order and heads will shake in unison. If you live Down Under you try not to order a middy. It’s embarrassing. It’s embarrassingly small. 


A schooner is OK. In fact, it's better than OK. It’s better than a pint anyway. A pint is too big. I didn’t know that a pint was too big until I came to Oz and noticed that they didn’t do pints. If you're a tippler and you enjoy a tipple, a schooner is the optimum size for a refreshing glass of beer. 

& then there's the 'schmiddy'. 


It's a total abomination. A curse. There it is in the picture looking just like the perfect glass for ... an orange cordial.


The 'schmiddy' lies partway between a middy and schooner. Between embarrassment and perfection. It's slap-bang in beer-drinking no-man's land. It's dreadful. The main reason that the schmiddy is so universally-hated is that when all the trendy bars introduced it they had the temerity to charge the same price for a schmiddy as a they once did for a schooner. You got less beer for the same price, Just like that. How they got away with it I will never know. But they did. 


I’m also not quite sure how they got away with calling it a 'schmiddy' either. It's a dreadful name. They may as well have gone the whole hog and called it a 'Fairy'. You can just imagine your friendly, local, 8-pints-of-lager-drinking, English skin-head walking into The Bulls Head in Romford, Essex and ordering a 'schmiddy of Stella please, guv'nor'. It wouldn't happen. There'd be a brick through the window of The Bulls Head in Romford, Essex quicker than you can say 'schmiddy's a silly name'.

Meanwhile over at our friendly, local pub quiz ... 



We’re all relaxed and cocky cos we’d all been through a decent Monopoly-playing phase in our lives, and we reckoned that the next question was in the bag. It was destined to be a doddle. 'Get it asked and move on, you muppet'. Glances were exchanged within the teams, between the teams, between the teams and the barmaid, between the teams and the chap asking the questions. You could cut the tension with a knife. We were all silent. 


We were all silent Monopoly aficionados. Until he asked the question. 

‘What is the ‘odd property out’ on a Monopoly board?’ 

That was it. 


Well, not quite. He qualified his question. He had to.  Since it was invented Monopoly has been licensed in 103 countries and in 37 different languages. There are literally hundreds of variations, each based on different cities and with different street names, different railway stations, utilities and other bits and pieces. The question was specifically about the original game. The London version. The one with Pall Mall and Old Kent Road and the rest. The one with Mayfair and Park Lane in dark blue, just before Go. If you owned those two posh streets and built a couple of swanky, red hotels on them, you were basically king of the castle. You were, for a brief moment in time, Al-Fayed, Branson, Buffet and Soros all rolled into one. You were rolling in it. ‘It’ was only Monopoly money. But still.

The chap asking the questions, had asked the best question I've ever heard in a pub quiz. He then sat back and looked smug. After a while he trotted off to the bar to order a drink. I suspect he ordered a middy. Or a schmiddy. He looked like a schmiddy drinker. It was a schmiddy-drinker’s question.

‘What is the ‘odd property out’ on a Monopoly board?’

I sat there in silence. My team sat there in silence. The entire pub sat there in silence. We had been stumped into silence. We ran through all the properties. There were 5 of us. Between us we got them all. It’s not hard to list them all, especially if there’s five of you. Getting all the railway stations took a while. 



The smug, schmiddy-drinking, question-asker was back. He asked if we needed more time. We did. He’d never asked that before. He was loving every minute of it.

It’s a cool game, Monopoly. We’ve got two sets at our place. I’m not sure why. It’s the kind of game I’m looking forward to playing with Pearl when she’s a bit older. It demands a bit of a strategy, a bit of thought and I reckon it’s not a bad way to introduce kids to the idea of ‘value’ and buying things. Talking of value, the most expensive Monopoly set was made by Sydney Mobell in 1985 to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the game. All the bits and bobs are in 23ct gold, and the coolest thing is that the entire hoard of cash in ‘the bank’ is real money. Real US dollars. Still, only one set was made and it sold for $2,000,000.

To date, more than 250 million Monopoly sets have been bought. Not bad for a humble board game. I wonder how many you have? One ... two ... more?

Monopoly - the world’s best selling board game (not counting chess!) - was officially invented on 7th March 1933.

Of course, you’re still wondering about the pub quiz question aren’t you - the ‘odd one out’ on the Monopoly board. You’ve had a stab and thought ‘Free Parking’ or ‘Jail’ or ‘Go’. Afraid not. There’s nothing 'odd' about those. They don’t stand out. They’re supposed to be there. 

Angel Islington isn’t. It’s an anomaly. It’s not a street (like Pall Mall or Whitehall) or a landmark (like Trafalgar Square). 
Angel, Islington is an 'area' of North London, but in 1933 it was a pub. The Angel, Islington. It's the pub that Victor Watson - the inventor - and his secretary - Marjory Philips - met in when they were out scouting for the names to go on the very first Monopoly board. They met in The Angel, Islington to discuss the names that should be included. In the end they were missing one last street name. They decided to use the name of the pub rather than a street. 'The Angel, Islington' became simply Angel Islington and it stands as the odd one out - it’s the only pub name to be included on the Monopoly board.

I can guarantee you one thing; The Angel in Islington didn’t serve schooners or middys. And it certainly didn't serve schmiddys. It wouldn't have dared.

Happy birthday Monopoly; 79 today!

pip pip

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic!! One to remember Dave. Cheers! ;-)

    ReplyDelete